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22. Let them perish from Thy presence, O God, as "vain talkers
and deceivers" of the soul do perish, who, observing that there were
two wills in deliberating, affirm that there are two kinds of minds in
us, one good, the other evil. They themselves verily are evil
when they hold these evil opinions; and they shall become good when
they hold the truth, and shall consent unto the truth, that Thy
apostle may say unto them, "Ye were sometimes darkness, but now are
ye light in the Lord." But, they, desiring to be light, not "in
the Lord," but in themselves, conceiving the nature of the soul to
be the same as that which God is, are made more gross darkness; for
that through a shocking arrogancy they went farther from Thee, "the
true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world."
Take heed what you say, and blush for shame; draw near unto Him and
be "lightened," and your faces shall not be "ashamed." I, when
I was deliberating upon serving the Lord my God now, as I had long
purposed, I it was who willed, I who was unwilling. It was
I, even I myself. I neither willed entirely, nor was entirely
unwilling. Therefore was I at war with myself, and destroyed by
myself. And this destruction overtook me against my will, and yet
showed not the presence of another mind, but the punishment of mine
own. "Now, then, it is no more I that do it, but sin that
dwelleth in me," the punishment of a more unconfined sin, in
that I was a son of Adam.
23. For if there be as many contrary natures as there are
conflicting wills, there will not now be two natures only, but many.
If any one deliberate whether he should go to their conventicle, or to
the theatre, those men at once cry out, "Behold, here are two
natures, one good, drawing this way, another bad, drawing back
that way; for whence else is this indecision between conflicting
wills?" But I reply that both are bad that which draws to
them, and that which draws back to the theatre. But they believe not
that will to be other than good which draws to them. Supposing,
then, one of us should deliberate, and through the conflict of his two
wills should waver whether he should go to the theatre or to our
church, would not these also waver what to answer? For either they
must confess, which they are not willing to do, that the will which
leads to our church is good, as well as that of those who have received
and are held by the mysteries of theirs, or they must imagine that
there are two evil natures and two evil minds in one man, at war one
with the other; and that will not be true which they say, that there
is one good and another bad; or they must be converted to the truth,
and no longer deny that where any one deliberates, there is one soul
fluctuating between conflicting wills.
24. Let them no more say, then, when they perceive two wills to be
antagonistic to each other in the same man, that the contest is between
two opposing minds, of two opposing substances, from two opposing
principles, the one good and the other bad. For Thou, O true
God, dost disprove, check, and convince them; like as when both
wills are bad, one deliberates whether he should kill a man by poison,
or by the sword; whether he should take possession of this or that
estate of another's, when he cannot both; whether he should purchase
pleasure by prodigality, or retain his money by covetousness; whether
he should go to the circus or the theatre, if both are open on the same
day; or, thirdly, whether he should rob another man's house, if he
have the opportunity; or, fourthly, whether he should commit
adultery, if at the same time he have the means of doing so, all
these things concurring in the same point of time, and all being
equally longed for, although impossible to be enacted at one time.
For they rend the mind amid four, or even (among the vast variety of
things men desire) more antagonistic wills, nor do they yet affirm
that there are so many different substances.
Thus also is it in wills which are good. For I ask them, is it a
good thing to have delight in reading the apostle, or good to have
delight in a sober psalm, or good to discourse on the gospel? To each
of these they will answer, "It is good." What, then, if all
equally delight us, and all at the same time? Do not different wills
distract the mind, when a man is deliberating which he should rather
choose? Yet are they all good, and are at variance until one be fixed
upon, whither the whole united will may be borne, which before was
divided into many. Thus, also, when above eternity delights us, and
the pleasure of temporal good holds us down below, it is the same soul
which willeth not that or this with an entire will, and is therefore
torn asunder with grievous perplexities, while out of truth it prefers
that, but out of custom forbears not this.
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