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5. And Thy faithful mercy hovered over me afar. Upon what unseemly
iniquities did I wear myself out, following a sacrilegious curiosity,
that, having deserted Thee, it might drag me into the treacherous
abyss, and to the beguiling obedience of devils, unto whom I
immolated my wicked deeds, and in all which Thou didst scourge me! I
dared, even while Thy solemn rites were being celebrated within the
walls of Thy church, to desire, and to plan a business sufficient to
procure me the fruits of death; for which Thou chastisedst me with
grievous punishments, but nothing in comparison with my fault, O
Thou my greatest mercy, my God, my refuge from those terrible
hurts, among which I wandered with presumptuous neck, receding
farther from Thee, loving my own ways, and not Thine loving a
vagrant liberty.
6. Those studies, also, which were accounted honourable, were
directed towards the courts of law; to excel in which, the more crafty
I was, the more I should be praised. Such is the blindness of men,
that they even glory in their blindness. And now I was head in 'the
School of Rhetoric, whereat I rejoiced proudly, and became inflated
with arrogance, though more sedate, O Lord, as Thou knowest, and
altogether removed from the subvertings of those "subverters" (for
this stupid and diabolical name was held to be the very brand of
gallantry) amongst whom I lived, with an impudent shamefacedness that
I was not even as they were. And with them I was, and at times I
was delighted with their friendship whose acts I ever abhorred, that
is, their "subverting," wherewith they insolently attacked the
modesty of strangers, which they disturbed by uncalled for jeers,
gratifying thereby their mischievous mirth.
Nothing can more nearly resemble the actions of devils than these. By
what name, therefore, could they be more truly called than
"subverters "? being themselves subverted first, and altogether
perverted being secretly mocked at and seduced by the deceiving
spirits, in what they themselves delight to jeer at and deceive
others.
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