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34. But, my heart being now healed of that wound, in so far as
it could be convicted of a carnal I affection, I pour out unto
Thee, O our God, on behalf of that Thine handmaid, tears of a far
different sort, even that which flows from a spirit broken by the
thoughts of the dan- ] gets of every soul that dieth in Adam. And
although she, having been "made alive" in Christs even before she
was freed from the flesh had so lived as to praise Thy name both by her
faith and conversation, yet dare I not say that from the time Thou
didst regenerate her by baptism, no word went forth from her mouth
against Thy precepts. And it hath been declared by Thy Son, the
Truth, that "Whosoever shall say to his brother, Thou fool, shall
be in danger of hell fire." And woe even unto the praiseworthy life
of man, if, putting away mercy, Thou shouldest investigate it. But
because Thou dost not narrowly inquire after sins, we hope with
confidence to find some place of indulgence with Thee. But whosoever
recounts his true merits to Thee, what is it that he recounts to Thee
but Thine own gifts? Oh, if men would know themselves to be men;
and that "he that glorieth" would "glory in the Lord! "
35. I then, O my Praise and my Life, Thou God of my heart,
putting aside for a little her good deeds, for which I joyfully give
thanks to Thee, do now beseech Thee for the sins of my mother.
Hearken unto me, through that Medicine Of our wounds who hung upon
the tree, and who, sitting at Thy right hand, "maketh intercession
for us." I know that she acted mercifully, and from the hearts
forgave her debtors their debts; do Thou also forgive her debts,n
whatever she contracted during so many ears since the water of
salvation. Forgive er, O Lord, forgive her, I beseech Thee;
'center not into judgment" with her. Let Thy mercy be exalted above
Thy justice, because Thy words are true, and Thou hast promised
mercy unto "the merciful;" which Thou gavest them to be who wilt '
' have mercy" on whom Thou wilt "have mercy," and wilt "have
compassion" on whom Thou hast had compassion.*
36. And I believe Thou hast already done that which I ask Thee;
but "accept the free-will offerings of my mouth, O Lord." For
she, when the day of her dissolution was near at hand, took no thought
to have her body sumptuously covered, or embalmed with spices; nor did
she covet a choice monument, or desire her paternal burial-place.
These things she entrusted not to us, but only desired to have her
name remembered at Thy altar, which she had served without the
omission of a single day; whence she knew that the holy sacrifice was
dispensed, by which the handwriting that was against us is blotted
out; by which the enemy was triumphed over, who, summing up our
offences, and searching for something to bring against us, found
nothing in Him in whom we conquer. Who will restore to Him the
innocent blood? Who will repay Him the price with which He bought
us, so as to take us from Him? Unto the sacrament of which our
ransom did Thy handmaid bind her soul by the bond of faith. Let none
separate her from Thy protection. Let not the "lion" and the
"dragon" introduce himself by force or fraud. For she will not reply
that she owes nothing, lest she be convicted and got the better of by
the wily deceiver; but she will answer that her "sins are forgiven"
by Him to whom no one is able to repay that price which He, owing
nothing, laid down for us.
37. May she therefore rest in peace with her husband, before or
after whom she married none; whom she obeyed, with patience bringing
forth fruit unto Thee, that she might gain him also for Thee. And
inspire, O my Lord my God, inspire Thy servants my brethren, Thy
sons my masters, who with voice and heart and writings I serve, that
so many of them as shall read these confessions may at Thy altar
remember Monica, Thy handmaid, together with Patricius, her
sometime husband, by whose flesh Thou introducedst me into this life,
in what manner I know not. May they with pious affection be mindful
of my parents in this transitory light, of my brethren that are under
Thee our Father in our Catholic mother, and of my fellow-citizens
in the eternal Jerusalem, which the wandering of Thy people sigheth
for from their departure until their return. That so my mother's last
entreaty to me may, through my confessions more than through my
prayers, be more abundantly fulfilled to her through the prayers of
many.
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