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19. But in this my childhood (which was far less dreaded for me
than youth) I had no love of learning, and hated to be forced to it,
yet i was I forced to it notwithstanding; and this was well done
towards me, but I did not well, if or I would not have learned had
I not been compelled. For no man doth well against his will, even if
that which he doth be well. Neither did they who forced me do well,
but the good that was done to me came from Thee, my God. For they
considered not in what way I should employ what they forced me to
learn, unless to satisfy the inordinate desires of a rich beggary and a
shameful glory. But Thou, by whom the very hairs of our heads are
numbered, t didst use for my good the error of all who pressed me to
learn; and my own error in willing not to learn, didst Thou make use
of for my punishment of which I, being so small a boy and so great
a sinner, was not unworthy. Thus by the instrumentality of those who
did not well didst Thou well for me; and by my own sin didst Thou
justly punish me. For it is even as Thou hast appointed, that every
inordinate affection should bring its own punishment
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