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7. Among such as these, at that unstable period of my life, I
studied books of eloquence, wherein I was eager to be eminent from a
damnable and inflated purpose, even a delight in human vanity. In the
ordinary course of study, I lighted upon a certain book of Cicero,
whose language, though not his heart, almost all admire. This book
of his contains an exhortation to philosophy, and is called
Hortensius. This book, in truth, changed my affections, and turned
my prayers to Thyself, O Lord, and made me have other hopes and
desires. Worthless suddenly became every vain hope to me; and, with
an incredible warmth of heart, I yearned for an immortality of
wisdom, and began now to arise that I might return to Thee. Not,
then, to improve my language which I appeared to be purchasing with
my mother's means, in that my nineteenth year, my father having died
two years before not to improve my language did I have recourse to
that book; nor did it persuade me by its style, but its matter.
8. How ardent was I then, my God, how ardent to fly from earthly
things to Thee! Nor did I know how Thou wouldst deal with me. For
with Thee is wisdom.
In Greek the love of wisdom is called "philosophy,"' with which
that book inflamed me. There be some who seduce through philosophy,
under a great, and alluring, and honourable name colouring ind
adorning their own errors. And almost all who in that and former times
were such, are in that book censured and pointed out. There is also
disclosed that most salutary admonition of Thy Spirit, by Thy good
and pious servant: "Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy
and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of
the world, and not after Christ: for in Him dwelleth all the
fellness of the Godhead bodily." And since at that time (as Thou,
O Light of my heart, know-est) the words of the apostle were
unknown to me, I was delighted with that exhortation, in so far only
as I was thereby stimulated, and enkindled, and inflamed to love,
seek, obtain, hold, and embrace, not this or that sect, but.wisdom
itself, whatever it were; and this alone checked me thus ardent, that
the name of Christ was not in it. For this name, according to Thy
mercy, O Lord, this name of my Saviour Thy Son, had my tender
heart piously drunk in, deeply treasured even with my mother's milk;
and whatsoever was without that name, though never so erudite,
polished, and truthful, took not complete hold of me.
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