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13. And how, then, Thou didst deliver me out of the bonds of
carnal desire, wherewith I was most firmly lettered, and out of the
drudgery of worldly business, will I now declare and confess unto Thy
name, "O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." Amid increasing
anxiety, I was transacting my usual affairs, and daily sighing unto
Thee. I resorted as frequently to Thy church as the business, under
the burden of which I groaned, left me free to do. Alypius was with
me, being after the third sitting disengaged from his legal
occupation, and awaiting further opportunity of selling his counsel,
as I was wont to sell the power of speaking, if it can be supplied by
teaching. But Nebridius had, on account of our friendship,
consented to teach under Verecundus, a citizen and a grammarian of
Milan, and a very intimate friend of us all; who vehemently desired,
and by the right of friendship demanded from our company, the faithful
aid he greatly stood in need of. Nebridius, then, was not drawn to
this by any desire of gain (for he could have made much more of his
learning had he been so inclined), but, as a most sweet and kindly
friend, he would not be wanting in an office of friendliness, and
slight our request. But in this he acted very discreetly, taking care
not to become known to those personages whom the world esteems great;
thus avoiding distraction of mind, which he desired to have free and at
leisure as many hours as possible, to search, or read, or hear
something concerning wisdom.
14. Upon a certain day, then, Nebridius being away (why, I do
not remember), lo, there came to the house to see Alypius and me,
Pontitianus, a countryman of ours, in so far as he was an African,
who held high office in the emperor's court. What he wanted with us
I' know not, but we sat down to talk together, and it fell out that
upon a table before us, used for games, he noticed a book; he took it
up, opened it, and, contrary to his expectation, found it to be the
Apostle Paul, for he imagined it to be one of those books which I
was wearing myself out in teaching. At this he looked up at me
smilingly, and expressed his delight and wonder that he had so
unexpectedly found this book, and this only, before my eyes. For he
was both a Christian and baptized, and often prostrated himself before
Thee our God in the church, in constant and daily prayers. When,
then, I had told him that I bestowed much pains upon these writings,
a conversation ensued on his speaking of Antony, the Egyptian I
monk, whose name was in high repute among Thy servants, though up to
that time not familiar to us. When he came to know this, he lingered
on that topic, imparting to us a knowledge of this man so eminent, and
marvelling at our ignorance. But we were amazed, hearing Thy
wonderful works most fully manifested in times so recent, and almost in
our own, wrought in the true faith and the Catholic Church. We all
wondered we, that they were so great, and he, that we had never
heard of them.
15. From this his conversation turned to the companies in the
monasteries, and their manners so fragrant unto Thee, and of the
fruitful deserts of the wilderness, of which we knew nothing. And
there was a monastery at Milan full of good brethren, without the
walls of the city, under the fostering care of Ambrose, and we were
ignorant of it. He went on with his relation, and we listened
intently and in silence. He then related to us how on a certain
afternoon, at Triers, when the emperor was taken up with seeing the
Circensian games, he and three others, his comrades, went out for a
walk in the gardens close to the city walls, and there, as they
chanced to walk two and two, one strolled away with him, while the
other two went by themselves; and these, in their ram bling, came
upon a certain cottage inhabited by some of Thy servants, "poor in
spirit," of whom "is the kingdom of heaven," where they found a
book in which was written the life. of Antony. This one of them
began to read, marvel at, and be inflamed by it; and in the reading,
to meditate on embracing such a life, and giving up his worldly
employments to serve Thee. And these were of the body called
"Agents for Public Affairs." Then, suddenly being overwhelmed
with a holy love and a sober sense of shame, in anger with himself, he
cast his eyes upon his friend, exclaiming, "Tell me, I entreat
thee, what end we are striving for by all these labours of ours. What
is our aim? What is our motive in doing service? Can our hopes in
court rise higher than to be ministers of the emperor? And in such a
position, what is there not brittle, and fraught with danger, and by
how many dangers arrive we at greater danger?
And when arrive we thither? But if I desire to become a friend of
God, behold, I am even now made it." Thus spake he, and in the
pangs of the travail of the new life, he turned his eyes again upon the
page and continued reading, and was inwardly changed where Thou
sawest, and his mind was divested of the world, as soon became
evident; for as he read, and the surging of his heart rolled along,
he raged awhile, discerned and resolved on a better course, and now,
having become Thine, he said to his friend, "Now have I broken
loose from those hopes of ours, and am determined to serve God; and
this, from this hour, in this place, I enter upon. If thou art
reluctant to imitate me, hinder me not." The other replied that he
would cleave to him, to share in so great a reward and so great a
service. Thus both of them, being now Thine, were building a tower
at the necessary cost of forsaking all that they had and following
Thee. Then Pontitianus, and he that had walked with him through
other parts of the garden, came in search of them to the same place,
and having found them, reminded them to return as the day had
declined. But they, making known to him their resolution and
purpose, and how such a resolve had sprung up and become confirmed in
them, entreated them not to molest them, if they refused to join
themselves unto them. But the others, no whir changed from their
former selves, did yet (as he said) bewail themselves, and piously
congratulated them, recommending themselves to their prayers; and with
their hearts inclining towards earthly things, returned to the palace.
But the other two, setting their affections upon heavenly things,
remained in the cottage.
And both of them had affianced brides, who, when they heard of this,
dedicated also their virginity unto God.
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