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In our present wretched condition we frequently mistake a friend for an
enemy, and an enemy for a friend. And if we escape this pitiable
blindness, is not the unfeigned confidence and mutual love of true and
good friends our one solace in human society, filled as it is with
misunderstandings and calamities? And yet the more friends we have,
and the more widely they are scattered, the more numerous are our fears
that some portion of the vast masses of the disasters of life may light
upon them. For we are not only anxious lest they suffer from famine,
war, disease, captivity, or the inconceivable horrors of slavery,
but we are also affected with the much more painful dread that their
friendship may be changed into perfidy, malice, and injustice. And
when these contingencies actually occur, as they do the more frequently
the more friends we have, and the more widely they are scattered, and
when they come to our knowledge, who but the man who has experienced it
can tell with what pangs the heart is torn? We would, in fact,
prefer to hear that they were dead, although we could not without
anguish hear of even this. For if their life has solaced us with the
charms of friendship, can it be that their death should affect us with
no sadness? He who will have none of this sadness must, if possible,
have no friendly intercourse. Let him interdict or extinguish friendly
affection; let him burst with ruthless insensibility the bonds of every
human relationship; or let him contrive so to use them that no
sweetness shall distil into his spirit. But if this is utterly
impossible, how shall we contrive to feel no bitterness in the death of
those whose life has been sweet to us? Hence arises that grief which
affects the tender heart like a wound or a bruise, and which is healed
by the application of kindly consolation. For though the cure is
affected all the more easily and rapidly the better condition the soul
is in, we must not on this account suppose that there is nothing at all
to heal. Although, then, our present life is afflicted, sometimes
in a milder, sometimes in a more painful degree, by the death of those
very dear to us, and especially of useful public men, yet we would
prefer to hear that such men were dead rather than to hear or perceive
that they had fallen from the faith, or from virtue, in other words,
that they were spiritually dead. Of this vast material for misery the
earth is full, and therefore it is written, "Is not human life upon
earth a trial?" And with the same reference the Lord says. "Woe
to the world because of offenses!" and again, "Because iniquity
abounded, the love of many shall wax cold." And hence we enjoy some
gratification when our good friends die; for though their death leaves
us in sorrow, we have the consolatory assurance that they are beyond
the ills by which in this life even the best of men are broken down or
corrupted, or are in danger of both results.
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