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39. But "because Thy loving-kindness is better than life,"
behold, my life is but a distraction, and Thy right hand upheld me in
my Lord, the Son of man, the Mediator between Thee, The One,
and us the many, in many distractions amid many things, that
through Him I may apprehend in whom I have been apprehended, and may
be re-collected from my old days, following The One, forgetting the
things that are past; and not distracted, but drawn on, not to those
things which shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which
are before, not distractedly, but intently, I follow on for the
prize of my heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of Thy
praise, and contemplate Thy delights, neither coming nor passing
away. But now are my years spent in mourning. And Thou, O Lord,
art my comfort, my Father everlasting. But I have been divided amid
times, the order of which I know not; and my thoughts, even the
inmost bowels of my soul, are mangled with tumultuous varieties, until
I flow together unto Thee, purged and molten in the fire of Thy
love.
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