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BUT with regard to this that you said a little way back; viz., that you
of set purpose go over the recollections of past sins, this ought certainly
not to be done, nay, if it forcibly surprises you, it must be at once
expelled. For it greatly hinders the soul from the contemplation of purity,
and especially in the case of one who is living in solitude, as it
entangles him in the stains of this world and swamps him in foul sins. For
while you are recalling those things which you did through ignorance or
wantonness in accordance with the prince of this world, though I grant you
that while you are engaged in these thoughts no delight in them steals in,
yet at least the mere taint of the ancient filthiness is sure to corrupt
your soul with its foul stink, and to shut out the spiritual fragrance of
goodness, i.e., the odour of a sweet savour. When then the recollection of
past sins comes over your mind, you must recoil from it just as an honest
and upright man runs away if he is sought out in public by an immodest and
wanton woman either by words or by embraces. And certainly unless he at
once withdraws himself from contact with her, and if he allows himself to
linger the very least in impure talk, even if he refuses his consent to the
shameful pleasures, yet he cannot avoid the brand of infamy and scorn in
the judgment of all the passers by. So then we also, if by noxious
recollections we are led to thoughts of this kind, ought at once to desist
from dwelling upon them and to fulfil what we are commanded by Solomon:
"But go forth," says he, "do not linger in her place, nor fix thine eye on
her;" lest if the angels see us taken up with unclean and foul
thoughts, they may not be able to say to us in passing by: "The blessing of
the Lord be upon you." For it is impossible for the soul to continue in
good thoughts, when the main part of the heart is taken up with foul and
earthly considerations. For this saying of Solomon's is true: "When thine
eyes look on a strange woman, then shall thy mouth speak wickedly, and thou
shalt lie as it were in the midst of the sea, and as a pilot in a great
storm. But thou shalt say: They have beaten me, but I felt no pain; and
they mocked me, but I felt not." So then we should forsake not only all
foul but even all earthly thoughts and ever raise the desires of our soul
to heavenly things, in accordance with this saying of our Saviour: "For
where I am," He says, "there also shall My servant be." For it often
happens that when anyone out of pity is in thought going over his own falls
or those of other faulty persons, he is affected by the delight and assent
to this most subtle attack, and that which was undertaken and started with
a show of goodness ends with a filthy and damaging termination, for "there
are ways which appear to men to be right, but the ends thereof will come to
the depths of hell."
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