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So long then as owing to the fewness of those who were then living in
the desert, a greater freedom was afforded to us in a wider expanse of the
wilderness, so long as in the seclusion of larger retreats we were caught
up to those celestial ecstasies, and were not overwhelmed by a great
quantity of brethren to visit us, and thus owing to the necessity of
showing hospitality overburdened in our thoughts by the distractions of
great cares, I frequented with insatiable desire and all my heart the
peaceful retreats of the desert and that life which can only be compared to
the bliss of the angels. But when, as I said, a larger number of the
brethren began to seek a dwelling in that desert, and by cramping the
freedom of the vast wilderness, not only caused that fire of divine
contemplation to grow cold, but also entangled the mind in many ways in the
chains of carnal matters, I determined to carry out my purpose in this
system rather than to grow cold in that sublime mode of life, by providing
for carnal wants; so that, if that liberty and those spiritual ecstasies
are denied me, yet as all care for the morrow is avoided, I may console
myself by fulfilling the precept of the gospel, and what I lose in
sublimity of contemplation, may be made up to me by submission and
obedience. For it is a wretched thing for a man to profess to learn any art
or pursuit, and never to arrive at perfection in it.
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