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JOHN: For those who are anxious for the cure of their ailments a saving
remedy is sure not to be wanting, and therefore remedies should be sought
by the same means that the signs of each fault are discovered. For as we
have said that the faults of men's ordinary life are not wanting to
solitaries, so we do not deny that all zeal for virtue, and all the means
of healing are at the disposal of all those who are cut off from men's
ordinary life. When then anyone discovers by those signs which we described
above, that he is attacked by outbreaks of impatience or anger, he should
always practise himself in the opposite and contrary things, and by setting
before himself all sorts of injuries and wrongs, as if offered to him by
somebody else, accustom his mind to submit with perfect humility to
everything that wickedness can bring upon him; and by often representing to
himself all kinds of rough and intolerable things, continually consider
with all sorrow of heart with what gentleness he ought to meet them. And,
by thus looking at the sufferings of all the saints, or indeed at those of
the Lord Himself, he will admit that the various reproaches as well as
punishments are less than he deserves, and prepare himself to endure all
kinds of griefs. And when occasionally he has been recalled by so, me
invitation to the assembly of the brethren--a thing which cannot but happen
every now and then even to the strictest inmates of the desert,--if he
finds that his mind is silently disturbed even for trifles, he should like
some stern censor of his secret emotions charge himself with all those
various hard wrongs, to the perfect endurance of which he was training
himself by his daily meditations, and blaming and chiding himself as
follows, say My good man, are you the fellow who while training yourself in
the practising ground of solitude, ventured most determinedly to think that
you would get the better of all bad qualities, and who just now, when you
were representing to yourself not only all sorts of bitter reproaches, but
also intolerable punishments, fancied that you were pretty strong and able
to stand against all storms? How is it that that unconquered patience of
yours is upset by the first trial even of a light word? How is it that even
a gentle breeze has shaken that house of yours which you fancied was built
so strongly on the solid rock? Where is that which you announced when
during a time of peace you were in your foolish confidence longing for war?
"I am ready, and am not troubled;" and this which you used often to say
with the prophet: "Prove me, O Lord, and try me: search out my reins and my
heart;" and: "prove me, 0 Lord, and know my heart: question me and know my
paths; and see if there be any way of wickedness in me." How has a tiny
ghost of an enemy frightened your grand preparations for war? With such
reproaches and remorse a man should condemn himself and not allow the
sudden temptation which has upset him to go unpunished, but by chastising
his flesh with a severer penalty of fasting and vigils; and, by punishing
his sin of lightness of mind by continual pains of self- restraint, he
should while living in solitude consume in this fire of practice what he
ought to have thoroughly driven out in the life of the coenobium. This at
any rate we must firmly and resolutely hold to in order to secure a lasting
and unbroken patience; viz., that for us, to whom by the Divine law not
merely vengeance for, but even the recollection of injuries is forbidden,
it is not permissible to be roused to anger because of some loss or
annoyance. For what greater injury can happen to the soul than for it,
owing to some sudden blindness from rage, to lose the brightness of the
true and eternal light and to fail of the sight of Him "Who is meek and
lowly of heart?" What I ask could be more dangerous or awkward than for
a man to lose his power of judging of goodness, and his standard and rule
of true discernment, and for one in his sober senses to do what even a
drunken man, and a fool would not be pardoned for doing? One then who
carefully considers these and other injuries of the same kind, will readily
endure and disregard not only all kinds of losses, but also whatever wrongs
and punishments can be inflicted by the cruellest of men, as he will hold
that there is nothing more damaging than anger, nor more valuable than
peace of mind and unbroken purity of heart, for the sake of which we should
think nothing of the advantages not merely of carnal matters but also of
those things which appear to be spiritual, if they cannot be gained or done
without some disturbance of this tranquillity.
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