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As if we were to suppose that two men, one of whom was clear sighted
with perfect vision, and the other, one whose eyesight was obscured by
dimness of vision, had together entered some great house that was filled
with a quantity of bundles, instruments, and vessels, would not he, whose
dullness of vision prevented his seeing everything, assert that there was
nothing there but chests, beds, benches, tables, and whatever met the
fingers of one who felt them rather than the eyes of one who saw them,
while on the other hand would not the other, who searched out what was
hidden with clear and bright eyes, declare that there were there many most
minute articles, and what could scarcely be counted; which if they were
ever gathered up into a single pile, would by their number equal or perhaps
exceed the size of those few things which the other had felt. So then even
saints, and, if we may so say, men who see, whose aim is the utmost
perfection, cleverly detect in themselves even those things which the gaze
of our mind being as it were darkened cannot see, and condemn them very
severely, to such an extent that those who have not, as it seems to our
carelessness, dimmed the whiteness of their body, which is as it were like
snow, with even the slightest spot of sin, seem to themselves to be covered
with many stains, if, I will not say any evil or vain thoughts creep into
the doors of their mind, but even the recollection of a Psalm which has to
be said takes off the attention of the kneeler at the time for prayer. For
if, say they, when we ask some great man, I will not say for our life and
salvation, but for some advantage and profit, we fasten all our attention
of mind and body upon him, and hang with trembling expectation on his nod,
with no slight dread lest haply some foolish or unsuitable word may turn
aside the pity of our hearer, and then too, when we are standing in the
forum or in the courts of earthly judges, with our opponent standing over
against us, if in the midst of the prosecution and trial any coughing, or
spitting, or laughing, or yawning, or sleep overtakes us, with what malice
will our ever watchful opponent stir up the severity of the judge to our
damage: how much more, when we entreat Him who knows all secrets, should
we, by reason of our imminent danger of everlasting death, plead with
earnest and anxious prayer for the kindness of the judge, especially as on
the other side there stands one who is both our crafty seducer and our
accuser! And not without reason will he be bound by no light sin, but by a
grievous fault of wickedness, who, when he pours forth his prayer to God,
departs at once from His sight as if from the eyes of one who neither sees
nor hears, and follows the vanity of wicked thoughts. But they who cover
the eyes of their heart with a thick veil of their sins, and as the Saviour
says, "Seeing see not and hearing hear not nor understand," hardly
regard in the inmost recesses of their breast even those faults which are
great and deadly. and cannot with clear eyes look at any deceitful
thoughts, nor even those vague and secret desires which strike the mind
with slight and subtle suggestions, nor the captivities of their soul, but
always wandering among impure thoughts they know not how to be sorry when
they are distracted from that meditation which is so special, nor can they
grieve that they have lost anything as while they lay open their mind to
the entrance of any thought as they please, they have nothing set before
them to hold to as the main thing or to desire in every way.
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