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GERMANUS: My own poor self indeed is not altogether ignorant of this
feeling of conviction. For often when tears arise at the recollection of my
faults, I have been by the Lord's visitation so refreshed by this ineffable
joy which you describe that the greatness of the joy has assured me that I
ought not to despair of their forgiveness. Than which state of mind I think
there is nothing more sublime if only it could be recalled at our own will.
For sometimes when I am desirous to stir myself up with all my power to the
same conviction and tears, and place before my eyes all my faults and sins,
I am unable to bring back that copiousness of tears, and so my eyes are dry
and hard like some hardest flint, so that not a single tear trickles from
them. And so in proportion as I congratulate myself on that copiousness of
tears, just so do I mourn that I cannot bring it back again whenever I
wish.
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