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WHEN I had now finished the books of Spiritual Conferences, the merit
of which consists in the thoughts expressed rather than in the language
used (since my rude utterances were unequal to the deep thoughts of the
saints), I had contemplated and almost determined on taking refuge in
silence (as I was ashamed of having exposed my ignorance) that I might as
far as possible make up for my audacity in speaking by modestly holding my
tongue for the future. But you have overcome my determination and purpose
by your commendable earnestness and most urgent affection, my dear Leo, my
esteemed and highly regarded friend, ornament that you are of the Roman
Church and sacred ministry, as you drag me forth from the obscurity of
silence on which I had determined, into a public court which I may well
dread, and oblige me to undertake new labours while I am still blushing for
my past ones. And thought I was unequal to lesser tasks, you compel me to
match myself to greater ones. For even in those trifling works, in which of
our small ability we offered some small offering to the Lord, I would never
have attempted to do or apply myself to anything unless I had been led to
it by Episcopal command. And so through you there has been an increase of
importance both of our subject and of our language. For whereas before we
spoke, when bidden, of the business of the Lord, you now require us to
speak of the actual Incarnation and glory of the Lord Himself. And so we
who were formerly brought as it were into the holy place of the temple by
priestly hands, now penetrate under your guidance and protection, so to
speak, into the holy of holies. Great is the honour but most perilous the
undertaking, because the prize of the holy sanctuary and the divine
reward can only be secured by a victory over our foe. And so you require
and charge us to raise our feeble hands against a fresh heresy and a new
enemy of the faith, and that we should take our stand, so to speak,
against the awful open-mouthed gapings of the deadly serpent, that at my
summons the power of prophecy and the divine force of the gospel word may
destroy the dragon now rising up with sinuous course against the Churches
of God. I obey your intreaty: I yield to your command: for I had rather
trust in my own matters to you than to myself, especially as the love of
Jesus Christ my Lord commands me this as well as you, for He Himself gives
me this charge in your person. For in this matter you are more concerned
than I am, as your judgment stands in peril rather than my duty. For in my
case, whether I prove equal to what you have commanded me or no, the very
fact of my obedience and humility will be in some degree an excuse for me;
if indeed I might not urge that there is more value in my obedience, if
there is less that I can do. For we easily comply with any one's orders,
out of your abundance: but his is a great and wonderful work, whose desires
exceed his powers. Yours then is this work and business, and yours it is to
be ashamed of it. Pray and intreat that your choice may not be discredited
by my clumsiness; and that, supposing we do not answer the expectations
which you have formed of us, you may not seem to have been wrong in
commanding out of an ill-considered determination, while I was right in
yielding, owing to the claims of obedience.
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