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In the last place I am ashamed to say how we find that a large number
have made their renunciation in such a way that we find that they have
altered nothing of their former sins and habits, but only their state of
life and worldly garb. For they are eager in amassing wealth which they
never had before, or else do not give up that which they had, or which is
still sadder, they actually strive to augment it under this excuse; viz.,
that they assert that it is right that they should always support with it
their relations or the brethren, or they hoard it under pretence of
starting congregations which they imagine that they can preside over as
Abbots. But if only they would sincerely seek after the way of perfection,
they would rather endeavour with all their might and main to attain to
this: viz., that they might strip themselves not only of their wealth but
of all their former likings and occupations, and place themselves
unreservedly and entirely under the guidance of the Elders so as to have no
anxiety not merely about others, but even about themselves. But on the
contrary we find that while they are eager to be set over their brethren,
they are never subject to their Elders themselves, and, with pride for
their starting point, while they are quite ready to teach others they take
no trouble to learn themselves or to practise what they are to teach: and
so it is sure to end in their becoming, as the Saviour said," blind leaders
of the blind "so that "both fall into the ditch." And this pride though
there is only one kind of it, yet takes a twofold form. One form
continually puts on the appearance of seriousness and gravity, the other
breaks out with unbridled freedom into silly giggling and laughing. The
former delights in not talking: the latter thinks it hard to be kept to the
restraint of silence, and has no scruples about talking freely on matters
that are unsuitable and foolish, while it is ashamed to be thought inferior
to or less well informed than others. The one on account of pride seeks
clerical office, the other looks down upon it, since it fancies that it is
unsuitable or beneath its former dignity and life and the deserts of its
birth. And which of these two should be accounted the worse each man must
consider and decide for himself. At any rate the kind of disobedience is
one and the same, if a man breaks the Elder's commands whether it be owing
to zeal in work, or to love of ease: and it is as hurtful to upset the
rules of the monastery for the sake of sleep, as it is for the sake of
vigilance, and it is just the same to transgress the Abbot's orders in
order to read, as it is to slight them in order to sleep: nor is there any
difference in the incentive to pride if you neglect a brother, whether it
is because of your fast or because of your breakfast: except that those
faults which seem to show themselves under the guise of virtues and in the
form of spirituality are worse and less likely to be cured than those which
arise openly and from carnal pleasures. For these latter, like sicknesses
which are perfectly plain and visible, are grappled with and cured, while
the former, since they are covered under the cloak of virtue, remain
uncured, and cause their victims to fall into a more dangerous and deadly
state of ill health.
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