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AMONG all these then there is one kind of love which is indissoluble,
where the union is owing not to the favour of a recommendation, or some
great kindness or gifts, or the reason of some bargain, or the necessities
of nature, but simply to similarity of virtue. This, I say, is what is
broken by no chances, what no interval of time or space can sever or
destroy, and what even death itself cannot part. This is true and unbroken
love which grows by means of the double perfection and goodness of friends,
and which, when once its bonds have been entered, no difference of liking
and no disturbing opposition of wishes can sever. But we have known many
set on this purpose, who though they had been joined together in
companionship out of their burning love for Christ, yet could not maintain
it continually and unbrokenly, because although they relied on a good
beginning for their friendship, yet they did not with one and the same zeal
maintain the purpose on which they had entered, and so there was between
them a sort of love only for a while, for it was not maintained by the
goodness of both alike, but by the patience of the one party, and so
although it is held to by the one with unwearied heroism, yet it is sure
to be broken by the pettiness of the other. For the infirmities of those
who are somewhat cold in seeking the healthy condition of perfection,
however patiently they may be borne by the strong, are yet not put up with
by those who are weaker themselves. For they have implanted within them
causes of disturbance which do not allow them to be at ease, just as those,
who are affected by bodily weakness, generally impute the delicacy of their
stomach and weak health to the carelessness of their cooks and servants,
and however carefully their attendants may serve them, yet nevertheless
they ascribe the grounds of their upset to those who are in good health, as
they do not see that they are really due to the failure of their own
health. Wherefore this, as we said, is the sure and indissoluble union of
friendship, where the tie consists only in likeness in goodness. For "the
Lord maketh men to be of one mind in an house." And therefore love can
only continue undisturbed in those in whom there is but one purpose and
mind to will and to refuse the same things. And if you also wish to keep
this unbroken, you must be careful that having first got rid of your
faults, you mortify your own desires, and with united zeal and purpose
diligently fulfil that in which the prophet specially delights: "Behold how
good and joyful a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity."
Which should be taken of unity of spirit rather than of place. For it is of
no use for those who differ in character and purpose to be united in one
dwelling, nor is it an hindrance for those who are grounded on equal
goodness to be separated by distance of place. For with God the union of
character, not of place, joins brethren together in a common dwelling, nor
can unruffled peace ever be maintained where difference of will appears.
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