|
1. If it were possible to express tears and groans by means of
writing I would have filled the letter, which I now send to you,
with them. Now I weep not because you are anxious concerning your
patrimony, but because you have blotted out your name from the list of
the brethren, because you have trampled upon the covenant which you had
made with Christ. This is the reason why I shudder, this is the
cause of my distress. On this account do I fear and tremble, knowing
that the rejection of this covenant will bring great condemnation upon
those who have enlisted for this noble warfare, and owing to indolence
have deserted their proper rank. And that the punishment for such is
heavier than for others is manifest for this reason. For no one would
indite a private individual for shunning military service; but when
once a man has become a soldier, if he be caught deserting the ranks,
he runs a risk of suffering the most his remaining in a fallen
condition; neither is it a grievous thing for the warrior to be
wounded, but to despair after the blow has been struck, and to neglect
the wound. No merchant, having once suffered shipwreck, and lost his
freight, desists from sailing, but again crosses the sea and the
billows, and the broad ocean, and recovers his former wealth. We see
athletes also who after many falls have gained the wreath of victory;
and often, before gained the wreath of now, a soldier who has once ran
away has turned out a champion, and prevailed over the enemy. Many
also of those who have denied
Christ owing to the pressure of torture, have fought again, and
departed at last with the crown of martyrdom upon their brows. But if
each of these had despaired after the first blow, he would not have
reaped the subsequent benefits. Even so now, beloved Theodore,
because the enemy has shaken thee a little from thy position, do not
thou give thyself an additional thrust into the pit, but stand up
bravely, and return speedily to the place from which thou hast
departed, and deem not this blow, lasting but for a little while, any
reproach. For if you saw a soldier returning wounded from war you
would not reproach him; for it is a reproach to cast away one's arms,
and to hold aloof from the enemy; but as long as a man stands
fighting, even if he be wounded and retreat for a short time, no one
is so unfeeling or inexperienced in matters of war, as to find any
fault with him. Exemption from wounds is the lot of non-combatants;
but those who advance with much spirit against the enemy may sometimes
be wounded and fail; which is exactly what has now occurred in your
case; for suddenly, while you attempted to destroy the serpent you
were bitten. But take courage, you need a little vigilance, and then
not a trace of this wound will be left; or rather by the grace of God
thou wilt crush the head of the Evil One himself; nor let it trouble
thee that thou art soon impeded, even at the outset. For the eye,
the keen eye of the Evil One perceived the excellence of thy soul,
and guessed from many tokens that a brave adversary would wax strong
against him; for he expected that one who had promptly attacked him
with such great vehemence would easily overcome him, if he persevered.
Therefore he was diligent, and watchful, and mightily stirred up
against thee, or rather against his own head, if thou wilt bravely
stand thy ground. For who did not marvel at thy quick, sincere, and
fervent change to good? For delicacy of food was disregarded, and
costliness of raiment was despised, all manner of parade was put down,
and all the zeal for the wisdom of this world was suddenly transferred
to the divine oracles; whole days were spent in reading, and whole
nights in prayer; no mention was made of thy family dignity, nor any
thought taken of thy wealth; but to rasp the knees and hasten to the
feet of the brethren thou didst recognize as something nobler than high
birth. These things irritated the Evil One, these things stirred
him up to more vehement strife; but sleeping on the bare ground and the
rest of the discipline he overthrew you, even then there was no need to
despair; nevertheless one would have said that the damage was great if
defeat had taken place after many toils, and labour, and victories;
but inasmuch as he upset you as soon as you had stripped for the contest
with him, all that he accomplished was to render you more eager to do
battle with him. For that fell pirate attacked thee just as thou wast
sailing out of the harbor, not when thou hadst returned from thy
trading voyage. bringing a full cargo. And as when one has attempted
to stay a fierce lion, and has only grazed his skin, he has done him
no injury but only stirred him up the more against himself, and
rendered him more confident and difficult to capture afterwards: even
so the common enemy of all has attempted to strike a deep blow, but has
missed it, and consequently made his antagonist more vigilant and wary
for the future.
2. For human nature is a slippery thing, quick to be cheated, but
quick also to recover from deceit and as it speedily falls, so also
does it readily rise. For even that blessed man, I mean David the
chosen king and prophet after he had accomplished many good deeds,
betrayed himself to be a man, for once he fell in love with a strange
woman, nor did he stop there but he committed adultery on account of
his passion, and he committed murder on account of his adultery; but
he did not try to inflict a third blow upon himself because he had
already received two such heavy ones, but immediately hastened to the
physician, and applied the remedies, fasting, tears, lamentation,
constant prayer, frequent confession of the sin; and so by these means
he propitiated God, insomuch that he was restored to his former
position, insomuch that after adultery and murder the memory of the
father was able to shield the idolatry of the son. For the son of this
David Solomon by name, was caught by the same snare as his father,
and out of complaisance to women fell away from the God of his
fathers. Thou seest how great an evil it is not to master pleasure,
not to upset the ruling principle in nature, and for a man to be the
slave of women. This same Solomon then, who was formerly righteous
and wise but who ran a risk of being deprived of all the kingdom on
account of his sin, God permitted to keep the sixth part of the
government on account of the renown of his father.
Now if thy zeal had been concerned with worldly eloquence, and then
thou hadst given it up in despair, I should have reminded thee of the
law courts and the judgment seat and the victories achieved there and
the former boldness of thy speech, and should have exhorted thee to
return to your labours in that behalf: but inasmuch as our race is for
heavenly things, and we take no account of the things which are on
each, I put thee in remembrance of another court of justice, and of
that fearful and tremendous seat of judgment; "for we must all be made
manifest before the judgment seat of Christ." "And He will then
sit as judge who is now disregarded by thee. What shall we say then,
let me ask at that time? or what defence shall we make, if we continue
to disregard Him? What shall we say then? Shall we plead the
anxieties of business? Nay He has anticipated this by saying,
"What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his
own soul?" Or that we have been deceived by others? But it did not
help Adam in his defence to screen himself behind his wife, and say
"the woman whom thou gavest me, she deceived me;" even as the
serpent was no excuse for the woman. Terrible, O beloved Theodore,
is that tribunal, one which needs no accusers and waits for no
witnesses; for "all things are naked and laid open to Him" who
judges us, and we must submit to give an account not of deeds only but
also of thoughts; for that judge is quick to discern the thoughts and
intents of the heart. But perhaps you will allege weakness of nature
as the excuse, and inability to bear the yoke. And what kind of
defence is this, that you have not strength to bear the easy yoke,
that you are unable to carry the light burden? Is recovery from
fatigue a grievous and oppressive thing? For it is to this that
Christ calls us, saying," Come unto me all ye that labour and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest; take my yoke upon you and
learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart; for my yoke is easy
and my burden is light" For what can be lighter I ask, than to be
released from anxieties, and business, and fears, and labors, and to
stand outside the rough billows of life, and dwell in a tranquil
haven?
3. Which of all things in the world seems to you most desirable and
enviable? No doubt you will say government, and wealth, and public
reputation. And yet what is more wretched than these things when they
are compared with the liberty of Christians. For the ruler is
subjected to the wrath of the populace and to the irrational impulses of
the multitude, and to the fear of higher rulers, and to anxieties on
behalf of those who are ruled, and the ruler of yesterday becomes a
private citizen to-day; for this present life in no wise differs from
a stage, but just as there, one man fills the position of a king, a
second of a general, and a third of a soldier, but when evening has
come on the king is no king, the ruler no ruler, and the general no
general, even so also in that day each man will receive his due reward
not according to the outward part which he has played but according to
his works. Well! is glory a precious thing which perishes like the
power of grass? or wealth, the possessors of which are pronounced
unhappy? "For woe" we read, "to the rich;" and again, "Woe
unto them who trust in their strength and boast themselves in the
multitude of their riches!" But the Christian never becomes a
private person after being a ruler, or a poor man after being rich, or
without honour after being held in honour; but he abides rich even when
he is poor, and is exited when he strives to humble himself; and from
the rule which he exercises no human being can depose him, but only one
of those rulers who are under the power of this world's potentate of
darkness.
"Marriage is right," you say; I also assent to this. For
"marriage," we read, "is honourable and the bed undefiled; but
fornicators and adulterers God will judge;" but it is no longer
possible for thee to observe the right conditions of marriage. For if
he who has been attached to a heavenly bridegroom deserts him, and
joins himself to a wife the act is adultery, even if you call it
marriage ten thousand times over; or rather it is worse than adultery
in proportion as God is greater than man. Let no one deceive thee
saying: "God hath not forbidden to marry;" I know this as well as
you; He has not forbidden to marry, but He has forbidden to commit
adultery, may you be preserved from ever engaging thyself in marriage!
And why dost thou marvel if marriage is judged as if it were adultery,
when God is disregarded? Slaughter has brought about righteousness,
and mercy has been a cause of condemnation more than slaughter; because
the latter has been according to the mind of God but the former has
been forbidden. It was reckoned to Phinees for righteousness that he
pierced to death the woman who committed fornication, together with the
fornicator; but Samuel, that saint of God although he wept and
mourned and entreated for whole nights, could not rescue Saul from the
condemnation which God issued against him, because he saved, contrary
to the design of God the king of the allen tribes whom he ought to have
slain. If then mercy has been a cause of condemnation more than
slaughter because God was disobeyed, what wonder is it if marriage
condemns more than adultery when it involves the rejection of Christ?
For, as I said at the beginning, if you were a private person no one
would indict you for shunning to serve as a soldier; but now thou art
no longer thy own master, being engaged in the service of so great a
king. For if the wife hath not power over her own body, but the
husband, much more they who live in Christ must be unable to have
authority over their body. He who is now despised, the same will then
be our judge; think ever on Him and the river of fire: "For a river
of fire" we read, "winds before His face;" for it is impossible
for one who has been delivered over by Him to the fire to expect any
end of his punishment. But the unseemly pleasures of this life
no-wise differ from shadows and dreams; for before the deed of sin is
completed, the conditions of pleasure are extinguished; and the
punishments for these have no limit. And the sweetness lasts for a
little while but the pain is everlasting.
Tell me, what is there stable in this world? Wealth which often does
not last even to the evening? Or glory? Hear what a certain
righteous man says: "My life is swifter than a runner." For as
they dash away before they stand still, even so does this glory take to
flight before it has fairly reached us. Nothing is more precious than
the soul; and even they who have gone to the extremity of folly have
not been ignorant of this; for "there is no equivalent of the soul"
is the saying of a heathen poet. I know that thou hast become much
weaker for the struggle with the Evil One; I know that thou art
standing in the very midst of the flame of pleasures; but if thou wilt
say to the enemy "We do not serve thy pleasures, and we do not bow
down to the root of all thy evils; if thou wilt bend thine eye upward,
the Saviour will even now shake out the fire, and will burn up those
who have flung thee into it, and will send to thee in the midst of the
furnace a cloud, and dew, and a rustling breeze, so that the fire may
not lay hold of thy thought or thy conscience. Only do not consume
thyself with fire. For the arms and engines of besiegers have often
been unable to destroy the fortification of cities, but the treachery
of one or two of the citizens dwelling inside has betrayed them to the
enemy without any trouble on his part. And now if none of thy thoughts
within betray thee, should the Evil One bring countless engines
against thee from without he will bring them in vain.
4. Thou hast by the grace of God many and great men who sympathize
with thy trouble, who encourage you to the fight, who tremble for thy
soul,--Valerius the holy man of God, Florentius who is in every
respect his brother, Porphyrius who is wise with the wisdom of
Christ, and many others. These are daily mourning, and praying for
you without ceasing; and they would have obtained what they asked for,
long ago, if only thou hadst been willing to withdraw thyself a little
space out of the hands of the enemy. Now then is it not strange that,
whilst others do not even now despair of thy salvation, but are
continually praying that they may have their member restored to them,
thou thyself, having once fallen, art unwilling to get up again, and
remainest prostrate, all but crying aloud to the enemy: "Slay me,
smite me, spare not?" "Does he who falls not rise up again?"
speaks the divine oracle. But thou art striving against this and
contradicting it; for if one who has fallen despairs it is as much as
to say that he who falls does not rise up again I entreat thee do not
so great a wrong to thyself; do not pour upon us such a flood of
sorrow. I do not say at the present time, when thou hast not yet
completed thy twentieth year, but even if, after achieving many
things, and spending thy whole life in Christ thou hadst, in extreme
old age, experienced this attack, even then it would not have been
right to despair, but to call to mind the robber who was justified on
the cross, the labourers who wrought about the eleventh hour, and
received the wages of the whole day. But as it is not well that those
who have fallen near the very extremity of life should abandon hope, if
they be sober minded, so on the other hand it is not safe to feed upon
this hope, and say, "Here for a while, I will enjoy the sweets of
life, but afterwards, when I have worked for a short time, I shall
receive the wages of the whole working time. For I recollect hearing
you often say, when many were exhorting you to frequent the schools;
"But what if I bring my life to a bad end in a short space of time,
how shall I depart to Him who has said ' Delay not to turn to the
Lord, nor put off day after day?' " Recover this thought, and
stand in fear of the thief; for by this name Christ calls our
departure hence, because it comes upon us unawares. Consider the
anxieties of life which befall us, both those which are personal to
ourselves, and which are common to us with others, the fear (of
rulers, the envy of citizens, the danger which often hangs over us
imperilling even life itself, the labours, the distresses, the
servile flatteries, such as are unbecoming even to slaves if they be
earnest minded mere the fruit of our labours coming to an end in this
world, a fact which is the most distressing of all. It has been the
lot indeed of many to miss the enjoyment of the things for which they
have laboured, and after having consumed the prime of their manhood in
labours and perils, just when they hoped that they should receive their
reward they have departed taking nothing with them. For if, after
undergoing many danger, and completing many campaigns, one will
scarcely look upon an earthly king with confidence, how will any one be
able to behold the heavenly king, if he has fired and fought for
another all his time.
5. Would you have me speak of the domestic cares of wife, and
children and slaves? It is an evil thing to wed a very poor wife, or
a very rich one; for the former is injurious to the husbands means,
the latter to his authority and independence. It is a grievous thing
to have children, still more grievous not to have any; for in the
latter case marriage has been to no purpose, in the former a bitter
bondage has to be undergone. If a child is sick, it is the occasion
of no small fear; if he dies an untimely death, there is inconsolable
grief; and at every stage of growth there are various anxieties on
their account, and many fears and toils. And what is one to say to
the rascalities of domestic slaves? Is this then life Theodore, when
one's soul is distracted in so many directions, when a man has to
serve so many, to live for so many, and never for himself? Now
amongst us, O friend, none of these things happen, I appeal to
yourself as a witness. For during that short time when you were
willing to lift your head above the waves of this world, you know what
great cheerfulness and gladness you enjoyed. For there is no man
free, save only he who fives for Christ. He stands superior to all
troubles, and if he does not choose to injure himself no one else will
be able to do this, but he is impregnable; he is not stung by the loss
of wealth; for he has learned that we "brought nothing into this
world, neither can we carry anything out;" he is not caught by the
longings of ambition or glory; for he has learned that our citizenship
is in heaven; no one annoys him by abuse, or provokes him by blows;
there is only one calamity for a Christian which is, disobedience to
God; but all the other things, such as loss of property, exile,
peril of life, he does not even reckon to be a grievance at all. And
that which all dread, departure hence to the other world,--this is
to him sweeter than life itself. For as when one has climbed to the
top of a cliff and gazes on the sea and those who are sailing upon it,
he sees some being washed by the waves, others running upon hidden
rocks, some hurrying in one direction, others being driven in another
like prisoners, by the force of the gale, many actually in the water,
some of them using their hands only in the place of a boat and a
rudder, and many drifting along upon a single plank, or some fragment
of the vessel, others floating dead, a scene of manifold and various
disaster; even so he who is engaged in the service of Christ drawing
himself out of the turmoil and stormy billows of life takes his seat
upon secure and lofty ground. For what position can be loftier or more
secure than that in which a man has only one anxiety, "How he ought
to please God? " Hast thou seen the shipwrecks, Theodore, of
those who sail upon this sea? Wherefore, I beseech thee, avoid the
deep water, avoid the stormy billows, and seize some lofty spot where
it is not possible to be captured. There is a resurrection, there is
a judgment, there is a terrible tribunal which awaits us when we have
gone out of this world; "we must all stand before the judgment-seat
of Christ." It is not in vain that we are threatened with hell
fire, it is not without purpose that such great blessings have been
prepared for us. The things of this life are a shadow, and more
naught even than a shadow, being full of many fears, and many
dangers, and extreme bondage. Do not then deprive thyself both of
that world, and of this, when you may gain both, if you please. Now
that they who live in Christ will gain the things of this world Paul
teaches us when he says: "But I spare you;" and again "But this
I say for your profit." Seest thou that even here he who cares for
the things of the Lord is superior to the man who has married? It is
not possible for one who has departed to the other world to repent; no
athlete, when he has quitted the lists, and the spectators have
dispersed, can contend again.
Be always thinking of these things, and break in pieces the sharp
sword of the Evil One, by means of which he destroys many. And this
is despair, which cuts off from hope those who have been overthrown.
This is the strong weapon of the enemy, and the only way in which he
holds down those who have been made captives is by binding them with
this chain, which, if we choose, we shall speedily be able to break
by the grace of God. I know that I have exceeded the due measure of
a letter, but forgive me; for I am not willingly in this condition,
but have been constrained by my love and sorrow, owing to which I
forced myself to write this letter also, although many would have
prevented me. "Cease labouring in vain and sowing upon rock" many
have been saying to me. But I hearkened to none of them. For there
is hope I said to myself that, God willing, my letter will
accomplish something; but if that which we deprecate should take
place, we shall at least have the advantage of escaping self reproach
for keeping silence, and we shall not be worse than sailors on the
sea, who, when they behold men of their own craft drifting on a
plank, because their ship has been broken to pieces by the winds and
waves, take down their sails, and cast anchor, and get into a boat
and try to rescue the men, although strangers, known to them only in
consequence of their calamity. But if the others were unwilling to be
rescued no one would accuse those of their destruction who attempted to
save them. This is what we offer; but we trust that by the grace of
God you also will do your part, and we shall again see you occupying
an eminent place in the flock of Christ. In answer to the prayers of
the saints may we speedily receive thee back, dear friend, sound in
the true health. If thou hast any regard for us, and hast not utterly
cast us out of thy memory please vouchsafe a reply to our letter; for
in so doing thou wilt give us much pleasure.
|
|
