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The first conversion is the transition from the state of sin to
the state of grace, whether by baptism or, in the case of those
who have lost their baptismal innocence, by contrition and
sacramental absolution. Theologians explain at length in the
treatise on grace what precisely justification is in an adult, and
how and why it requires, under the influence of grace, acts of
faith, hope, charity and contrition, or detestation of sin
committed. [140] This purgation by the infusion of habitual grace
and the remission of sins is in a sense the type or pattern of all
the subsequent purgations of the soul, all of which involve acts
of faith, hope, charity and contrition. Often this first
conversion comes about after a more or less painful crisis in
which the soul progressively detaches itself from the spirit of
the world, like the prodigal son, to come back to God. It is God
always who makes the first step towards us, as the Church has
taught against the Semi-pelagians; it is He who inspires the good
movement in us, that initial goodwill which is the beginning of
salvation. For this purpose, by His grace and by the trials to
which He subjects the soul, He as it were 'tills' the ground of
the soul before sowing the divine seed within it; He drives a
first furrow therein, a furrow upon which He will later return, to
dig more deeply still and to eradicate the weeds which remain;
much as the vine-tender does with the vine when it has already
grown, to free it from all that may retard its development.
After this first conversion, if the soul does not fall again into
mortal sin, or at all events if it rises from sin without delay
and seeks to make progress, [141] it is then in the purgative way
of beginners.
The mentality or spiritual state of the beginner may be best
described in function of that which is primary in the order of
goodness, namely his knowledge of God and of himself, and his love
of God. Admittedly there are some beginners who are specially
favoured, like many great saints who have had greater grace in
their early beginnings than many who are proficients; just as in
the natural order there are infant prodigies. But after all, they
are children, and it is possible to say in general in what the
mentality of beginners consists. They begin to know themselves, to
see their poverty and their neediness, and they have every day to
examine their conscience to correct their faults. At the same time
they begin to know God, in the mirror of the things of sense, in
the things of nature or in the parables, for example, in those of
the Prodigal Son, the Lost Sheep or the Good Shepherd. Theirs is a
direct movement up to God, not unlike that of the swallow when it
rises up to the heavens uttering a cry. [142] In this state there
is a love of God proportionate to the soul's knowledge; beginners
who are truly generous love God with a holy fear of sin, which
causes them to avoid mortal sin and even deliberate venial sin, by
dint of mortifying the senses and concupiscence in its various
forms.
When they have been engaged for a certain time in this generous
effort they are usually rewarded by some sensible consolations in
prayer or in the study of divine things. In this way God wins over
their sensibility, for it is by their sensibility that they
chiefly live; He directs it away from dangerous things towards
Himself. At this stage the generous beginner already loves God
but not yet with all his soul, with all his
strength, or with all his mind. Spiritual writers often mention
the milk of consolation which is given at this period. St. Paul
himself says: [143]
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'I could not speak to you as unto spiritual
but as unto carnal, as unto little ones in Christ. I gave you milk
to drink, not meat; for you were not able as yet.'
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But what happens, usually, at this stage? Practically all
beginners, when they receive these sensible consolations, take too
much complacency in them; they regard them as though they were an
end in themselves, and not merely a means to higher things. They
then become an obstacle to their progress; they are an occasion of
spiritual greed, of curiosity in the things of God, of an
unconscious pride which leads the recipient to talk about his
favours and, under a pretext of doing good to others, to pose as
master in the spiritual life. Then, as St. John of the Cross says,
[144] the seven capital sins make their appearance, no longer in
their gross form, but in the order of spiritual things, as so many
obstacles to a true and solid piety.
Accordingly, by a logical and vital transition, a second
conversion becomes necessary, described by St. John of the Cross
under the name of the passive purgation of the senses. Of this he
says that it is
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'common and comes to many; these are beginners,'
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and that its purpose is to lead them into
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'the road and way of the
spirit, which is that of progressives and proficients... the way
of infused contemplation, wherewith God Himself feeds and
refreshes the soul.' [145]
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This purgation is characterized by a
prolonged aridity of the senses, in which the beginner is deprived
of all those sensible consolations in which he had taken too great
complacency. If in the midst of this aridity there is an intense
desire for God, a desire that He should reign in us, together with
a fear of offending Him, then this is a second sign that it is a
divine purgation. Still more so, if to this intense desire for God
there is added a difficulty in praying according to the discursive
method, and an inclination towards the prayer of simple regard,
with love. This is the third sign that the second conversion is in
progress, and that the soul is being raised up to a higher form of
life, that of the illuminative way.
If the soul endures this purgation satisfactorily its sensibility
becomes more and more subject to the spirit; the soul is cured of
its spiritual greed and of the pride that had led it to pose as a
master; it learns better to recognize its own neediness. Not
infrequently there arise other difficulties pertaining to this
process of purgation, for example, in study, in our relations with
persons to whom we are too greatly attached, and from whom God now
swiftly and painfully detaches our affections. At this time, too,
there arise often enough grave temptations against chastity and
patience, temptations which God allows so that by reaction against
theta these virtues, which reside in the sensible part of our
nature, may become. more firmly and truly rooted in us. Illness,
too, may be sent to try us during this period.
In this crisis God again tills the ground of the soul, digging
deeper in the furrow which He has already driven at the moment of
our first conversion: He is uprooting the evil weeds, or the
relics of sin,
'reliquias peccati.'
This crisis is not without its dangers, like the crisis of the
fourteenth or fifteenth year in the development of our natural
life. Some prove faithless to their vocation Some souls do not
pass through this crisis in such a way as to enter upon the
illuminative way of proficients, and they remain in a state of
tepidity; they are not in the proper sense beginners, rather they
are retarded or tepid souls. In their case, the words of the
Scriptures are fulfilled: 'They have not known the time of their
visitation' ; they have failed to recognize the time of their
second conversion. These souls, especially if they are in the
religious or the priestly state, are not tending to perfection as
they should, and unconsciously they are stopping others from doing
so, placing serious obstacles in the way of those who really
desire to make progress. Communal prayer, instead of becoming
contemplative, becomes mechanical; instead of prayer supporting
the soul, the soul has to support and endure prayer. Such prayer
may even, unhappily, become anti-contemplative !
In those, on the contrary, who pass through this crisis
successfully it is, according to St. John of the Cross, the
beginning of infused contemplation of the mysteries of faith,
accompanied by an intense desire for perfection. Then the
beginner, under the illumination especially of the gift of
understanding, [146] becomes a proficient and enters upon the
illuminative way; he recognizes his own poverty, sees the
emptiness of honours and dignities and the things of this world;
he detaches himself from these entanglements. This he must do, as
P. Lallemant says, 'in order to take the step' which will lead him
into the illuminative way. He now begins what is like a new life;
he is like the child that becomes a youth.
It is true that this passive purgation of the senses, even in the
case of those who actually enter upon it, may be more or less
manifest and more or less successfully endured. St. John of the
Cross remarks this, speaking of those who are less generous at
this stage:
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'This night of aridities is not usually continuous in
their senses. At times they have these aridities; at others they
have them not. At times they cannot meditate; at times they can...
for not all those who consciously walk in the way of the spirit
are brought by God to contemplation.... And this is why He never
weans the senses of such persons from the breasts of meditations
and reflections, but only for short periods and at certain
seasons.' [147]
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In other words, they have only an attenuated form
of the illuminative life. St. John of the Cross explains this
later by their lack of generosity:
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'Here it behoves us to note why
it is that there are so few that attain to this lofty state. It
must be known that this is not because God is pleased that there
should be few raised to this high spiritual state -- on the
contrary, it would please Him if all were so raised.... When He
proves them in small things and finds them weak and sees that they
at once flee from labour and desire not to submit to the least
discomfort or mortification.... He goes no farther with their
purification... they would fain go farther on the road, yet cannot
suffer the smallest things nor submit themselves to them....'
[148]
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Such is the transition, more or less generously made, which leads
to a higher form of life. So far it is easy to see the logical and
vital sequence of the phases through which the soul must pass.
This is no mechanical juxtaposition of successive states, but an
organic development of life.
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