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Objection 1: It would seem that a man ought to love his wife more
than his father and mother. For no man leaves a thing for another
unless he love the latter more. Now it is written (Gn. 2:24)
that "a man shell leave father and mother" on account of his wife.
Therefore a man ought to love his wife more than his father and
mother.
Objection 2: Further, the Apostle says (Eph. 5:33) that a
husband should "love his wife as himself." Now a man ought to love
himself more than his parents. Therefore he ought to love his wife
also more than his parents.
Objection 2: Further, love should be greater where there are more
reasons for loving. Now there are more reasons for love in the
friendship of a man towards his wife. For the Philosopher says
(Ethic. viii, 12) that "in this friendship there are the motives
of utility, pleasure, and also of virtue, if husband and wife are
virtuous." Therefore a man's love for his wife ought to be greater
than his love for his parents.
On the contrary, According to Eph. 5:28, "men ought to love
their wives as their own bodies." Now a man ought to love his body
less than his neighbor, as stated above (Article 5): and among his
neighbors he should love his parents most. Therefore he ought to love
his parents more than his wife.
I answer that, As stated above (Article 9), the degrees of love
may be taken from the good (which is loved), or from the union
between those who love. On the part of the good which is the object
loved, a man should love his parents more than his wife, because he
loves them as his principles and considered as a more exalted good.
But on the part of the union, the wife ought to be loved more,
because she is united with her husband, as one flesh, according to
Mt. 19:6: "Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh."
Consequently a man loves his wife more intensely, but his parents with
greater reverence.
Reply to Objection 1: A man does not in all respects leave his
father and mother for the sake of his wife: for in certain cases a man
ought to succor his parents rather than his wife. He does however
leave all his kinsfolk, and cleaves to his wife as regards the union of
carnal connection and co-habitation.
Reply to Objection 2: The words of the Apostle do not mean that a
man ought to love his wife equally with himself, but that a man's love
for himself is the reason for his love of his wife, since she is one
with him.
Reply to Objection 3: There are also several reasons for a man's
love for his father; and these, in a certain respect, namely, as
regards good, are more weighty than those for which a man loves his
wife; although the latter outweigh the former as regards the closeness
of the union.
As to the argument in the contrary sense, it must be observed that in
the words quoted, the particle "as" denotes not equality of love but
the motive of love. For the principal reason why a man loves his wife
is her being united to him in the flesh.
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